The Power of Being Present
Emotionally, the work can be incredibly challenging — especially when you build strong attachments with the children and witness the trauma some of them have endured. There have been many difficult moments, including during COVID, when I had to be the one to break the news to children about the loss of a loved one. Those conversations are heartbreaking, but I have learned to manage my emotions in a way that allows me to stay grounded and be the support they need in that moment.
It’s never about detaching from the emotions, but about being present and strong for the child. Some of my colleagues have said they wouldn’t be able to handle moments like that, and I completely understand — it does take a certain kind of emotional resilience and personality to do this work. But for me, despite the difficult days, it’s where I knew I was meant to be.
Exploring alternative therapeutic approaches, such as play therapy, can significantly enhance the effectiveness of our interventions. It is essential that children are active participants in decisions that impact their lives, and as practitioners, we need the skills and sensitivity to facilitate that involvement.
Over the years, I have learned that sometimes the most powerful tool you can bring into a session is your presence. The ability to simply sit in silence and give a child the time they need to process their thoughts is a skill in itself — one that doesn't always come naturally but can make a huge difference. It’s often in those quiet moments that real breakthroughs occur. For me, being based in an environment where the children I worked with also had different home languages – in my own instance including isiXhosa and Afrikaans – meant that effective communication would also need to include non-verbal aspects as well as humour. Engaging with children on their level is always crucial – and at times, happiness, joy and laughter can transcend any language barrier!
One memory that stays with me is of three brothers who had been abandoned and arrived at our centre, aged four, five and six. They understandably did not speak any English at that time and had never seen a white man before — they were certainly apprehensive at first! But today, they are fluent in three languages, including English, and have become some of the most well-adjusted and loving children in our care. Watching that kind of growth and transformation is what makes this work so rewarding.